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Reflecting on Growth and Embracing Hope in the New Year
I started this New Year’s Eve by leading my morning AA meeting. I've been reflecting on my growth over the past year and my hopes for the one ahead, so I thought that would be an inspiring topic for the last meeting of 2024. I opened the meeting by reading a quote by Hal Borland:
“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
His quote resonated deeply with me. We don’t have to map out every detail of the year to come; we just have to live it one day at a time—like writing a book with 365 pages, one page each day. Living one day at a time is like being reborn every morning, starting with a clean slate. Focusing on today, even one moment at a time, keeps me from getting overwhelmed or frightened of the future. It’s such a powerful tool.
Looking back on my life used to depress me, because I’d focus on regrets or the bad that happened. Now, I remember the AA saying, “We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.” Today, I look at how far I’ve come and the lessons I’ve learned. My life used to be in turmoil, but I see now how much I’ve grown—especially over this past year while supporting my husband, Barry, through his cancer diagnosis. As a sober woman, I’m able to be there for him physically and mentally. I’m fully present, not passed out or numbed by alcohol. I also rely on the 12 Step principles:
HONESTY – Fairness and straight forwardness of conduct.
HOPE – To expect with desire.
FAITH – Complete confidence; belief and trust in God's plan.
COURAGE – Firmness of mind and will in the face of extreme difficulty. Facing a fear (instead of hiding in a bottle).
INTEGRITY – The quality or state of being complete or undivided.
WILLINGNESS – Prompt to act or respond - showing up with no agenda and with humility.
HUMILITY – Not proud or haughty - clear and concise understanding of what we are, followed by a sincere desire to become what we can be!
LOVE – Unselfish concern that freely accepts another in loyalty and seeks his good to hold dear.
DISCIPLINE – Training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character..
PATIENCE/PERSEVERANCE – Steadfast despite opposition or adversity; able or willing to bear; to persist in an understanding in spite of counter influences.
AWARENESS – Alive and alert; vigilance in observing.
SERVICE – A helpful act; contribution to the welfare of others; useful labor that does not produce a tangible commodity.
I practice these principles in all my affairs—they guide me through daily challenges and help me grow stronger in my recovery.
It’s astounding to see how much these principles have shaped my life over the past four and a half years. Each one represents a cornerstone of my sobriety, giving me a solid foundation even when everything feels uncertain. I see it in how I interact with people and in how I face adversity, like Barry’s cancer. Instead of fear or hopelessness, I’ve found courage and willingness to move forward, rather than hiding away in a bottle. My heart has opened like never before, and I’m grateful for every moment—good or challenging—because each one teaches me something new.
I have so much hope for the new year: hope for Barry’s healing and hope for the women’s recovery community I’m building—Women in the Rooms. I also hope for healing in our country and across the globe. By sharing the wisdom and strength I’ve found in the rooms of AA, maybe I can help other women discover their own courage and serenity.
For AA and all the wisdom it offers, I am truly grateful. These principles have transformed my life, and I’m looking forward to another year—one day at a time—filled with growth, service, and the joy that comes from living sober.
Wishing everyone a happy, sober New Year!
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You can download my free Recovery Guidebook which has different tools and exercises, including instructions and journaling space for Step Four!
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