The Truth About How Society Normalizes Drinking for Women

Jan 266 min read

How Society Profits from Women's Stress—and How I Found Freedom Outside the Bottle."

I remember a family gathering where I was greeted at the door by one of my older sisters who was holding two glasses full of wine poured, no doubt, from one of the boxes of wine stored in the cool pantry off my mother’s kitchen. Pushing one glass into my hand and guzzling the other she gulped and told me, “You’ll need this.”

Wine was my family’s coping tool.

Judging from the women I met in my five months of rehab (for alcoholism) and from the women I’ve met since in recovery – my family wasn’t the only one using wine, beer, etc. to cope with life’s stresses.

Our society has a way of telling women that alcohol is not just acceptable, but necessary—to relax, connect, and even to succeed. We have normalized alcohol as a benefit to “healthy” living and liquor stores were even deemed “ESSENTIAL “ during the pandemic.

What has the normalization of drinking - what is the real cost of these messages?

How Society – and the Alcohol Industry - Targets Women

There’s been a real evolution in alcohol marketing towards the female gender since the “revolution” of women in the 60s and 70s. Until that period, alcohol advertising focused on men, but as women gained more independence, the industry saw an opportunity to expand its reach.

Hey! Why not target 100% of the population rather than 50%?

Follow the money… The whole pie is better than half.

And the marketing is amazing. It speaks to us (women) about “empowerment", such as one company promoting it's "fierce women" wine makers, or wine charms that are marketed as being "empowering" - little beaded women heads to hang on the side of your rose. (I wonder if they have one with silver, shoulder-length hair that I can hang on my water bottle?)

There are slogans like the popular (even made a movie) “Rose All Day” and brands like “Mommy’s Time Out.” There are brands like “Skinnygirl,” which ties drinking to slimness and guilt-free indulgence.

And how about the packaging? Think about male dominated drinks like beer and the ads around them: bold dark colors, big horses and rugged outdoor scenes. For women we have pink and “sparkly” designs.

Why pink? “While pink is often discussed as a negative gender stereotype, it has taken on connotations of empowerment in a post-feminist context that redefines it as the colour of women who have achieved equality and are therefore able to embrace pink as a marker of their femininity, and to communicate fun, independence and self-confidence”

Knowing that the color pink has been revived and now celebrated by women as a symbol of empowerment, the alcohol industry uses this to their advantage: “The pinking of products is a tactic commonly used by the alcohol industry to target the female market, and analysis of marketing content, and industry trade documents, provide evidence of its deliberate (over) use to appeal to women."

But in reality, this clever packaging masks the dangers of alcohol consumption by framing it as empowering while ignoring the health risks and societal harm it causes.

Social Media and Alcohol Trends

The other day I heard a woman say she’d gone to a funeral of a friend who had a problematic relationship with alcohol (I feel all relationships with alcohol are problematic, but that’s another blog for another day). She said the little prayer cards given out didn’t have the usual prayer of memorial or inspiration. Instead, there was a recipe for creating the “perfect margarita.”

You can’t make this up!

On social media, drinking is often portrayed as fun, stylish, and completely harmless. Viral trends like “wine moms” and endless cocktail recipe videos use humor and relatability to make alcohol feel like an ordinary, even necessary, part of everyday life.

Memes with captions like “It’s not drinking alone if the kids are home” or “Mommy’s little helper” might make us laugh, but they also send a subtle message: drinking to cope with stress is normal and acceptable. Over time, this humor can blur the line between occasional indulgence and dependence, making it harder for us to recognize when alcohol has become a problem.

And social media doesn’t stop at humor. Cocktail recipe videos (not just for funeral cards!) and hashtags like #WineOClock glamorize drinking, transforming it into a lifestyle statement. The beautifully staged visuals—think frosted glasses, colorful garnishes, and sophisticated settings—make alcohol seem aspirational, even necessary for relaxation or social connection.

It’s not just a glass of wine! It’s cleverly presented as self-care or the key to winding down after a hard day.

But here’s the harm of these witticisms and funny tea towels or memes: by embedding alcohol into everyday life and presenting it as fun or harmless, these trends normalize drinking in ways that make us less likely to question our habits. It reinforces a societal mindset that alcohol is essential to manage stress, fit in socially, or even celebrate life’s smallest moments.

It was the “everybody is doing it” mentality that kept me drinking and oblivious for years.

I didn’t start drinking until I went away to college. In high school I was seen as an outgoing girl – a smart and pretty student council cheerleader kind of girl. But life at a huge university was overwhelming and I very quickly discovered the power of beer (lots and lots of beer) to make my shyness go away. By senior year I was “the party girl” on campus.

My 20a are a blur of working in NYC, moving to Los Angeles (escaping) and lots of clubbing and drinking. But, everyone else I knew were doing the same (or so I thought).

Life in the suburbs after marrying and “settling down” didn’t stop the partying, it just masked it as the book (wine) club, the town parades (with Bailey laced coffees passed amongst the adults), sophisticated wine cellars and wine of the month clubs. Drinking oozed through the pores of the burbs.

My wakeup to our booze (and drug) laden world only came to light after I hit a very hard and low rock bottom. It’s funny how near death can remove the blinders to many things that got me to near death.

Wine, beer, vodka tonics… they were my friends. Until they weren’t. The empowerment and feeling of being good enough or normal that I had found in a bottle, had to be found elsewhere after I got out of rehab. But where?

A New Perspective: Empowerment Over Alcohol

I found my answers in a 12 step recovery program that taught me the coping and life skills I had been lacking. It also taught me how to reconnect with my true self deep inside a thick shell of pain and past traumas.

I found that true empowerment doesn’t come in a bottle. It comes from connection, support, and self-care.

Today I handle stress with techniques like journaling, exercise, living in the present – rather than worrying about the future or regretting the past. I reach out to friends and family to talk and laugh with. I walk our rescue dog Frisco through the woods – without a phone or music – to take in the sounds of the birds or the quiet. Quiet is great! I cook nutritious – and my husband thinks delicious – foods and meals. I enjoy times exploring our home state of New Jersey or drives along the Hudson or Delaware or the ocean.

There is so much life outside the bottle. (I was pretty cramped living inside it – Don’t know how you did it Jeannie!)

Before I end, I’d like to ask you something -

“Do you drink because you want to, or because you’ve been told you need to?”

If you feel compelled to reach for a glass of wine to relieve your stress or because you think of it as a “reward” for “getting through” your day, then you might just be under the influence of not just alcohol, but an entire alcohol industry and marketing campaign that is profiting from our stress and insecurities.

You don’t need alcohol to thrive. There are better, healthier ways to live.

Let’s stop letting an industry profit off our stress.

Take one small step today—whether it’s reaching for a journal instead of a glass, joining a supportive community, or simply pausing to reflect. Stop drinking and start living.

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